It took me 160 auditions and 3½ years to book my first commercial, and almost four years before I booked my first TV show—3rd Rock From the Sun.
The good news: That is where I had my first onscreen kiss. The bad news: It was with John Lithgow. Check out some of my nonsense:
Kia – Soft Sell
Spoofing pretentious car spots.
ADOPT US KIDS
My three years of high school French and two years of college French FINALLY pay off.
BETTER OFF TED – Change We Can’t Believe In
My character, TV’s Ryan Mallory, bugs the heck out of everyone at Veridian Dynamics.
Chip manages The Frugal Hoosier.
Pier 1 Imports (VO)
In this spot, I improvised most of my lines as the Talking Reindeer Christmas Card Holder. as the lovely and talented Anne Leighton pretended this was normal.
Doing what I can to make sure there will be Christmas this year.
LAST COMIC STANDING – Semi Finals
Notice how “topical” one of my jokes was, considering it aired on 6-6-06.
Sitting on the couch getting chastised by an apple.
Magicop 1 – Pulled Over
This is a sketch I wrote back in May 1997 while a member of The Bravo Company at The Acme Comedy Theatre in Hollywood.
Time Warner Cable
My wife loves HD.
Peter Piper Pizza
Bribing my kid for his last slice.
Hood Carb Countdown (VO)
I am the voice of the younger guy who is longing for the other dude’s glass ‘o milk. Drink fake milk!
With the un-PC ending that was edited out of the spot after a month!
Orbitz – Gay Version (VO)
They made a version of my Orbitz commercial that aired on Bravo’s QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY, in which the marionette for which I am supplying the voice, is now gay. As they said on SEINFELD: not that there’s anything wrong with that. Pretty funny especially if you’ve seen the first version.
Bud Light – Handyman
The first commerical as “Eddie”.
Six Flags Waterpark
Chip’s very first commercial.
Jack In The Box
2,200 antennae balls can’t be wrong!
Collecting cash from French Stewart.
Chrysler P.T. Cruiser
A Cruiser a day keeps the Devil away.
Bob Evans Brats
Pool party with NASCAR Champ Randy Lajoie.
Even my cartoon characters like a good deal!
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you a taste of “Randy the Paramedic”. Enjoy.
ARSENIO – Soul Test
I played Arsenio Hall’s Executive Producer in a bit that aired on his new show’s second night.
Stanley likes breaking bad news… and jelly beans.
Comcast Cable with Shaq
I flew to Cleveland to have a sit-down with #33. What movie were we watching? Kazaam, of course.
THE REPLACEMENTS – The Spy Who Wasn’t Riley
Playing grade school guidance counselor Mr. Lasley.
LAST COMIC STANDING
Thousands auditioned. 40 were chosen. Although I’m not Jewish, I am one of the chosen people. This is my appearance in the show that winnowed us down to the 40 semi-finalists. Mazel tov! I mean, Woo-Hoo!!
Giant Eagle (VO)
Breathing life into a package of OREOs.
Magicop 2 – The Jaywalker
This is the second installment in a three-part runner first performed in May 1997 at The Acme Comedy Theatre in Hollywood.
American Heart Association
There is a fine line between speed-walking and looking like one is hustling to the restroom. I think I achieved the former.
National Pork Board (VO)
White Chocolate (me) is now “The Other White Meat”, well, the voice of the pork loin.
MARRIED TO THE KELLYS
Soft selling as a Kansas City car salesman in this ABC sitcom.
Chip as Ross’ somewhat obsessive-compulsive co-worker.
Giant Chip and his Giant TV daughter build a house!
Bud Light – Shopping
Eddie and the boys hiding out in the clothing rack with Sean Hayes.
Six Flags – Outtakes
I love the smell of chlorine in the morning. It smells like victory!
Donald Sutherland and I talk shop in this scene that hit the editing room floor.
THE ADVENTURES OF ROCKY & BULLWINKLE
Sharing the silver screen with the moose and squirrel.
FOR YOUR LOVE
Overalls are not a good look.
2002 Winter Olympics
This was during my spandex period.
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
Larry tries to sell me a car.
Comcast XFINITY (:30)
Upgrading my security system.
This spot was directed by Wes Anderson. I play the voice of “Freebie the Periscope”. I’m my generation’s Fred Travalena!
This aired during “The Big Game” in 2015. When did saying “Super Bowl” turn into something verboten like uttering “MacBeth” in a theatre? I keep a low profile as Blueberry Pie Eater #4 (far right).
Christopher Guest directed me and a Sweathog in this spot. My Bowling team was mad at our buddy for blowing off our bowling night and sending a horrible fill-in bowler in his place. This was so he could be at home with his wife trying to pick up the ole 7-10 split if you know what I’m talkin’ ’bout. I think you do. Right? Yeah, you do.
I think that ballcap makes my big head look even humongouser. I had a really bad cold and shot on four hours sleep. Can you tell? Do you care?
Classic Chinery! This sketch was written and performed by yours truly, Jimmy Dore & Jimmy Pardo. Carla Filisha also helped shape this sucker. It first appeared in the “Must-See Sketch Show” at The Complex in Hollywood way back in March 1996!
Magicop 3 – The Hostage
This is the third installment of The Magicop trilogy from May 1997.
SUITE LIFE OF ZACK & CODY
Me. Donuts. What else do you need?
THE REPLACEMENTS – Halloween Spirits
Playing the 1950s instructional film narrator in the Halloween Special.
Looking for a tip as the 20th bellhop in Larry Miller’s NBC pilot.
I play the Performance-Preoccupied Professor of American History.
Chip’s Acting Reel.
What does a blender and Zarathustra’s theme from “2001: A Space Odyssey” have in common?
Bud Light – Rain
Eddie & Company getting into trouble again.
Kia – Sephia
A parody on the low production car commercials.
Pelted with 30 pounds of Tum dust.
He’ll be back, because they never forget.
MLB Authentic Apparel
With Ken Griffey, Jr. Well, sorta…
Tell us about it, Johnny!!!
Chip as a Public Defender on this short-lived WB series.
Miltie, Madea and now me.
ARSENIO – Cubs Mascot
It wasn’t exactly “Sharon Stone in BASIC INSTINCT”…
BETTER OFF TED – Goodbye Mr. Chips
All those months of near solitude standing guard at Coney Island’s West Gate during my youth, were drawn upon for this, my greatest role!!
Comcast XFINITY (:15)
Same chain mail minus one wife.
I wanna watch “E/R”. I wanna watch “Hee Haw”. Let’s watch both…
NBC – Are You There, Chelsea
I play the prim and proper NBC Censor in this spot for potty-mouthed Chelsea Handler’s new sitcom.
P. Diddy and P. Chinery in the Ciroc “movie”. I was going to wear a kilt, but they cut that at the last minute because my calves would have upstaged everyone.
Playing poker with a light bulb.
SUITE LIFE review by The Flannerys
“He kinda made me laugh when he was doing something that makes me laugh.”
Pork is Lean! (VO)
Well, look who is calling poultry “fat”.
Chip beats David Arquette at Texas Hold ‘Em in this CBS drama.
Derek Daly Driving Academy
Oh that”s gonna leave a scar.
This spot featuring dudes in kilts debuted during the first quarter of Super Bowl XXXVIII.
See Chip, well HEAR Chip as the voice of marionette “Special Agent Hunt” (aka Dude on the Balcony) in the new Orbitz commercial.
Kia – Sportage
Another send-up of local car dealer TV ads!
Accused of cross-dressing by the Doc.
Gingers face off.
THE DREW CAREY SHOW
Chip bowls a strike on National TV!
Walking the thin blue line between law and order.
Chip moving rodents.
Forecast: Lightening. Either that or Shazam”s in town.
Bus dancing at LAX.