It took me 160 auditions and 3½ years to book my first commercial, and almost four years before I booked my first TV show—3rd Rock From the Sun.

The good news: That is where I had my first onscreen kiss.  The bad news: It was with John Lithgow.  Check out some of my nonsense:

Screen-Shot-2014-07-01-at-6.28.09-PMKia – Soft Sell
Spoofing pretentious car spots.


ADOPT US KIDS

My three years of high school French and two years of college French FINALLY pay off.

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BETTER OFF TED – Change We Can’t Believe In

My character, TV’s Ryan Mallory, bugs the heck out of everyone at Veridian Dynamics.

Middle, The - StillTHE MIDDLE
Chip manages The Frugal Hoosier.

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Pier 1 Imports
 (VO)
In this spot, I improvised most of my lines as the Talking Reindeer Christmas Card Holder. as the lovely and talented Anne Leighton pretended this was normal.

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Capital One

Doing what I can to make sure there will be Christmas this year.

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LAST COMIC STANDING – Semi Finals

Notice how “topical” one of my jokes was, considering it aired on 6-6-06.

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Applebee’s

Sitting on the couch getting chastised by an apple.


Magicop 1 – Pulled Over

This is a sketch I wrote back in May 1997 while a member of The Bravo Company at The Acme Comedy Theatre in Hollywood.

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Time Warner Cable

My wife loves HD.

peter
Peter Piper Pizza

Bribing my kid for his last slice.

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Hood Carb Countdown
 (VO)
I am the voice of the younger guy who is longing for the other dude’s glass ‘o milk.  Drink fake milk!

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Staples

With the un-PC ending that was edited out of the spot after a month!

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Orbitz – Gay Version (VO)

They made a version of my Orbitz commercial that aired on Bravo’s QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY, in which the marionette for which I am supplying the voice, is now gay.  As they said on SEINFELD: not that there’s anything wrong with that.  Pretty funny especially if you’ve seen the first version.

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Bud Light – Handyman

The first commerical as “Eddie”.

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Six Flags Waterpark

Chip’s very first commercial.

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Jack In The Box

2,200 antennae balls can’t be wrong!

10-10-220 Still 2
10-10-220

Collecting cash from French Stewart.

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 8.00.44 PMChrysler P.T. Cruiser
A Cruiser a day keeps the Devil away.

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 8.01.07 PMBob Evans Brats
Pool party with NASCAR Champ Randy Lajoie.

FAMILY GUY
Even my cartoon characters like a good deal!

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Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you a taste of “Randy the Paramedic”. Enjoy.

ARSENIO –  Soul Test
I played Arsenio Hall’s Executive Producer in a bit that aired on his new show’s second night.

Screen-Shot-2014-06-10-at-2.58.26-PMWILFRED
Stanley likes breaking bad news… and jelly beans.

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Comcast Cable with Shaq

I flew to Cleveland to have a sit-down with #33.  What movie were we watching?  Kazaam, of course.

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THE REPLACEMENTS – The Spy Who Wasn’t Riley

Playing grade school guidance counselor Mr. Lasley.

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LAST COMIC STANDING

Thousands auditioned.  40 were chosen.  Although I’m not Jewish, I am one of the chosen people.  This is my appearance in the show that winnowed us down to the 40 semi-finalists.  Mazel tov!  I mean, Woo-Hoo!!

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Giant Eagle
 (VO)
Breathing life into a package of OREOs.


Magicop 2 – The Jaywalker

This is the second installment in a three-part runner first performed in May 1997 at The Acme Comedy Theatre in Hollywood.

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American Heart Association

There is a fine line between speed-walking and looking like one is hustling to the restroom.  I think I achieved the former.

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National Pork Board (VO)

White Chocolate (me) is now “The Other White Meat”, well, the voice of the pork loin.

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MARRIED TO THE KELLYS

Soft selling as a Kansas City car salesman in this ABC sitcom.

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FRIENDS

Chip as Ross’ somewhat obsessive-compulsive co-worker.

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Home Depot

Giant Chip and his Giant TV daughter build a house!

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Bud Light – Shopping

Eddie and the boys hiding out in the clothing rack with Sean Hayes.

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Six Flags – Outtakes

I love the smell of chlorine in the morning.  It smells like victory!

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SPACE COWBOYS

Donald Sutherland and I talk shop in this scene that hit the editing room floor.


THE ADVENTURES OF ROCKY & BULLWINKLE

Sharing the silver screen with the moose and squirrel.

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 7.59.07 PMFOR YOUR LOVE
Overalls are not a good look.

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 7.59.28 PM2002 Winter Olympics
This was during my spandex period.

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
Larry tries to sell me a car.

Comcast XFINITY (:30)
Upgrading my security system.

Screen-Shot-2014-06-10-at-2.44.55-PMHyundai (VO)
This spot was directed by Wes Anderson.  I play the voice of “Freebie the Periscope”.  I’m my generation’s Fred Travalena!

CarMax
This aired during “The Big Game” in 2015.  When did saying “Super Bowl”  turn into something verboten like uttering “MacBeth” in a theatre?  I keep a low profile as Blueberry Pie Eater #4 (far right).

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Viagra

Christopher Guest directed me and a Sweathog in this spot.  My Bowling team was mad at our buddy for blowing off our bowling night and sending a horrible fill-in bowler in his place.  This was so he could be at home with his wife trying to pick up the ole 7-10 split if you know what I’m talkin’ ’bout.  I think you do. Right?  Yeah, you do.

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Commerce Bank

I think that ballcap makes my big head look even humongouser.  I had a really bad cold and shot on four hours sleep.  Can you tell?  Do you care?

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The Golfers

Classic Chinery!  This sketch was written and performed by yours truly, Jimmy Dore & Jimmy Pardo. Carla Filisha also helped shape this sucker. It first appeared in the “Must-See Sketch Show” at The Complex in Hollywood way back in March 1996!


Magicop 3 – The Hostage

This is the third installment of The Magicop trilogy from May 1997.

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SUITE LIFE OF ZACK & CODY

Me.  Donuts.  What else do you need?

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THE REPLACEMENTS – Halloween Spirits

Playing the 1950s instructional film narrator in the Halloween Special.

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UNCOMMON SENSE

Looking for a tip as the 20th bellhop in Larry Miller’s NBC pilot.

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Mazda 6

I play the Performance-Preoccupied Professor of American History.

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Acting Reel

Chip’s Acting Reel.

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Arbor Mist

What does a blender and Zarathustra’s theme from “2001: A Space Odyssey” have in common?

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Bud Light – Rain

Eddie & Company getting into trouble again.

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Kia – Sephia

A parody on the low production car commercials.

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Pepcid

Pelted with 30 pounds of Tum dust.

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Payday

He’ll be back, because they never forget.

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 7.54.57 PMMLB Authentic Apparel
With Ken Griffey, Jr.  Well, sorta…

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 7.55.21 PMMinnesota Lottery
Tell us about it, Johnny!!!

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 7.55.50 PMDEAD LAST
Chip as a Public Defender on this short-lived WB series.

ANGER MANAGEMENT
Miltie, Madea and now me.


ARSENIO – Cubs Mascot

It wasn’t exactly “Sharon Stone in BASIC INSTINCT”…


BETTER OFF TED – Goodbye Mr. Chips

All those months of near solitude standing guard at Coney Island’s West Gate during my youth, were drawn upon for this, my greatest role!!


Comcast XFINITY
 (:15)
Same chain mail minus one wife.


HEE/R

I wanna watch “E/R”.  I wanna watch “Hee Haw”.  Let’s watch both…

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NBC – Are You There, Chelsea

I play the prim and proper NBC Censor in this spot for potty-mouthed Chelsea Handler’s new sitcom.

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Ciroc Vodka

P. Diddy and P. Chinery in the Ciroc “movie”.  I was going to wear a kilt, but they cut that at the last minute because my calves would have upstaged everyone.

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Kmart

Playing poker with a light bulb.

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SUITE LIFE review by The Flannerys

“He kinda made me laugh when he was doing something that makes me laugh.”

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Pork is Lean! (VO)

Well, look who is calling poultry “fat”.

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COMMUTERS
 (Pilot)
Chip beats David Arquette at Texas Hold ‘Em in this CBS drama.

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Derek Daly Driving Academy

Oh that”s gonna leave a scar.

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Sierra Mist

This spot featuring dudes in kilts debuted during the first quarter of Super Bowl XXXVIII.

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Orbitz (VO)

See Chip, well HEAR Chip as the voice of marionette “Special Agent Hunt” (aka Dude on the Balcony) in the new Orbitz commercial.


Kia – Sportage

Another send-up of local car dealer TV ads!

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BECKER

Accused of cross-dressing by the Doc.

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REBA

Gingers face off.

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THE DREW CAREY SHOW

Chip bowls a strike on National TV!

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COYOTE UGLY

Walking the thin blue line between law and order.

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PROVIDENCE

Chip moving rodents.

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 7.57.26 PMKansas Lottery
Forecast: Lightening.  Either that or Shazam”s in town.

Screen Shot 2016-05-17 at 7.57.57 PMHertz
Bus dancing at LAX.