Back in the olden days, before “blogs”, people used to write for newspapers. I did that as a side gig while pursuing my stand-up and acting career. My first column was for a Cincinnati paper that I used to deliver as a lad. I channeled Charles Kuralt and reported about life on the stand-up comedy road for one month. My self-titled column ran in a few other papers and magazines. Here are some of those columns.

Have You Seen Me?

Have You Seen Me?

November 12th, 2009

Sixteen years ago, a Cincinnati comic headed to Hollywood. After hundreds of auditions, scores of five-line parts, at least one sad episode with a boatload of humorless old codgers, and a day with Dirty Harry, he may finally be on the verge of becomicontinue reading

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

September 15th, 1994

must apologize for not having written in the past few weeks. But then again, I haven't heard a lick from you folks either! Our relationship seems soooo once-sided. Anyway...I've been quite busy with the business of show. Or for those of you not comfocontinue reading

Is This Thing On?

Is This Thing On?

July 28th, 1994

So I was working a club in Ventura, California this past weekend. Being a number cruncher, I knew that this particular show would be a personal milestone. As it turns out, this was #1,900 in my career. But that would not be the most memorable part ofcontinue reading

You Deserve A Meal Today

You Deserve A Meal Today

June 23rd, 1994

As a little kid I remember wishing that I could eat everyday at McDonalds (I'm sorry, RocDonalds). I thought that'd be great. I loved that place! I didn't even mind that the mayor had a cheeseburger for a head. What no one told me, was that there wascontinue reading

Requested Material Enclosed

Requested Material Enclosed

May 26th, 1994

It was great to be back home in Cincinnati last week to reload on Skyline 4-ways, Penn Station Chicken Teriyaki sandwiches, UDF & Graeters. I'd better watch it or I'll find that under my big bulky sweater will be a big bulky guy. Oh yeah, I also continue reading

Boise, Idaho...Hello!

Boise, Idaho...Hello!

April 28th, 1994

This particular article will have no rhyme or reason, no theme. It will simply be disjointed ramblings. In other words, it will be a "Larry King" column. Rap artists Tupac Shakur and Snoop Doggy Dogg are in trouble with the law. Evidently "rap" docontinue reading

Play Ball!

Play Ball!

April 21st, 1994

Sooooo, Michael Jordan wants to play baseball. Well, so do I. And why not? Last year they expanded adding two more major league teams--they're gonna need people! Heck yeah, you may recall my monster year back in '74 for Mt. Washington Cleaners. Itcontinue reading

I'm A Pepper

I'm A Pepper

April 7th, 1994

In case you were wondering, I am working this week in Chicago. That's right, Chicago-the only city in the US with enough GUTS to share the first three letters of it's name with mine. Oh sure, there's Chicopee, Massachusetts; Chickaloon, Alabama; and continue reading

Mover And Shaker

Mover And Shaker

March 17th, 1994

On January 4th, I opened up the west coast offices of "The Chip Chinery Organization" in Los Angeles. I had hoped to become a mover and shaker out here, but quite frankly this was not in the brochure. I feel somewhat responsible and have chosen thcontinue reading

Most Likely To...

Most Likely To...

March 3rd, 1994

I recently attended the 15 year reunion of my eighth grade Guardian Angels class. That's right--GA. The school with one of the most feared mascot names in all of sport, "Angels". Some of our opponents mocked our name saying it was wimpy. Au contrairecontinue reading

When I'm 64

When I'm 64

May 7th, 1993

I'm getting older. It's not that I'm afraid of dying; that I'm ready for the dirt nap; or that I'm on the Grim Reaper's paper route. I just turned 28 1/2 (this may give you some idea as to how old I am). I say 28 1/2 because unlike everyone else my acontinue reading

Now, A Word To Our Sponsor

Now, A Word To Our Sponsor

April 9th, 1993

For years commercials have graced our television airwaves. And thank goodness! If not for those li'l beauts, instead of 23 minutes, we'd have to suffer endure a full half-hour of "Charles In Charge". Some commercials are inventive, but the balancecontinue reading

Se Habla!

Se Habla!

February 26th, 1993

Over the holidays I met a woman who is fluent in 5 languages. FIVE languages! That's pretty impressive from where I sit. Especially since I'm only an expert with two--The King's English (self-taught) and Latin ("pig" variety). I took French in higcontinue reading

My Fellow Americans

My Fellow Americans

January 29th, 1993

I'm not a "political animal". Maybe that's why I find myself blown away by the process we have for electing our President. We have "government by the people, for the people". So by definition, politicians aren't any different than you and me. Basicalcontinue reading

Breadbasket #6 - Upbeat End for Breadbasket 89

Breadbasket #6 - Upbeat End for Breadbasket 89

September 13th, 1989

I wanted to take a moment to apologize to my family, friends, colleagues and tourists everywhere for what happened in St. Louis. No, I didn't close my show with my impression of Jack Nicholson rapping a McNuggets joke while juggling flaming scarves tcontinue reading

Breadbasket #5 - The Lost Article

Breadbasket #5 - The Lost Article

August 30th, 1989

I would like to start off by thanking McNicholas High School alum, Pat Tabler, and the Kansas City Royals for giving us free tickets to their game on our off day, Monday. I just called them up, told them who we were and immediately the red carpet snucontinue reading

Breadbasket #4 - Free Videos In Paradise

Breadbasket #4 - Free Videos In Paradise

August 23rd, 1989

After speaking with my editor, Beryl, "Don't call me Gopher" Love, I have realized that last week's column wasn't all that chipper. He even contemplated a "Groucho" nose and on my picture! Since last week wasn't all beans and skittles, I didn't want continue reading

Breadbasket #3 - Sweltering Heat, Burnout Marks Trip

Breadbasket #3 - Sweltering Heat, Burnout Marks Trip

August 16th, 1989

Hi Mouseketeers! Day 3: After living with Jim Villanucci for 2 days, I have realized one thing - he eats faster than I do. I didn't think it was possible for mere mortals, but he'll finish a full pancake ahead, everytime. That just gives him mcontinue reading

Breadbasket #2 - Just Smile and Count The Gun Racks

Breadbasket #2 - Just Smile and Count The Gun Racks

August 9th, 1989

The odyssey of your local comedians, Jim Villanucci and yours truly, couldn't have started on a more appropriate day. I pulled the chocks from the tires of my Honda on August 1 - August Fools Day, if you will - and headed for Iowa City, Iowa. You continue reading

Breadbasket #1 - Cows, Wheat and Comics

Breadbasket #1 - Cows, Wheat and Comics

August 2nd, 1989

Hi fellow Forest Hillsters! My name is Chip Chinery: comedian, former Forest-Hills Journal-Press paperboy, and now guest columnist. In the tradition of such great correspondents as Ernie Pyle and Charles Kuralt, yours truly will be sending baccontinue reading