Tuesday, September 09, 2003

The greatest television shows to ever grace the airwaves have one thing in common: none of them hired me to act in their Series Premiere. Well, “Whoopi” decided to buck tradition. Tonight, NBC aired the pilot episode in which I play the Hotel Guest from the Midwest. It also re-aired that show on the 11th and 20th.

Earlier this summer, you may have seen a snippet from my scene in a promo for the show. “They” say that TV makes you look ten pounds heavier. That may be. But after seeing the “Whoopi” promo (and my Home Depot & Arbor Mist commercials), it finally dawned on me that everyone on TV looks to me pretty much the way they did in real life. Using the Transitive Property, it finally sunk in that I must look like the swollen load I see on TV.

I am pleased to report that the image of me that you will see on “Whoopi” is 20 pounds heavier than my now taught, sleek, sinewy physique. OK, it’s not a drastic difference, but I don’t have to hold my breath to tie my shoes anymore.



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